Beginning Butt Stuff

Beginning Butt Stuff

Back door play can be incredibly pleasurable and satisfying for everybody thanks to all those amazing nerve endings inside and around your anus. For people with a prostate, stimulation through anal play can open up a whole new world of pleasure and amazing sensations, even the possibility of intense, whole body P-spot orgasms.

When you're starting out though, the whole idea can seem a bit daunting as there is still a considerable stigma for many around anal play. If you are keen and ready to start exploring butt stuff either solo or with your partner, here are some tips to help get you started.

Lube, lube and more lube!

Unlike the vagina, the anus has no natural lubrication so it’s essential during anal play with toys or anal sex to use a good quality lube to reduce friction, prevent potential tearing and bleeding while increasing pleasurable sensations.

Silicone lube is a fantastic choice for anal sex as it is long lasting, condom compatible and never gets sticky but it can stain fabric and is not compatible for use with silicone toys. We stock a great range of silicone and hybrid lubricants along with long lasting liquid and gel water-based lubes which are specifically designed for anal play and compatible with toys and condoms of all materials.

While there is a range of numbing products on the market, most sex educators advise against using products that will reduce your ability to feel pain down there. Anal play shouldn’t be painful and if it is, it’s a sign that you need to stop or slow down and apply more lube. There is a risk of immediate and/or lasting damage if performed in an unsafe and unprepared way.

Prepare and take it slow

Get yourself comfortable and aroused before you attempt any penetration. If you’re wanting to try anal play with your partner, it’s important to have a conversation about it first and make sure you’re both consenting before you start. When you’re ready, you or your partner can start by massaging the area around your anus and when you’re ready to try some penetration, you can slowly insert a lubed-up finger.

Listen to your body; if at any point it becomes uncomfortable and painful then you need to stop or slow down. If you’re relaxed, enthusiastic and aroused, your chance of having a positive experience is good. On the other hand, if you’re feeling reluctant, pressured or uncomfortable, you’ll be tense which will make penetration especially difficult and your chances of enjoying anal play aren’t great.

Cleanliness can be a worry for a lot of people but after a shower and a trip to the toilet, you’ll be very unlikely to make a mess although it does happen on occasion and is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We do stock a range of anal hygiene products such as douches for your convenience and peace of mind.

Selecting a toy

When you’re ready to add some toys, start out small with a slim, tapered plug or some anal beads. Butt plugs come in a range of sizes, shapes and materials as well as vibrating or non-vibrating types, all of which are designed to stimulate and create a pleasant sensation and feeling of fullness. Plugs can be inserted before vaginal sex for extra stimulation and they can also be worn for periods of time prior to anal play as part of anal training to help stretch and relax the anal sphincter.

In the case of anal beads, the main pleasure is in the insertion and removal of them. As each bead pops in or out, the stimulation of the anal sphincter muscles can be intensely pleasurable. Inserting them during foreplay then slowly removing them just before or during your climax can superchargean orgasm like nothing else.

Anal training

It’s not uncommon for people when they first start experimenting with anal play and anal sex to find penetration difficult due to the tightness of their anal sphincter. While foreplay and starting slow with a finger or slim toy is helpful for getting used to the sensation and relaxing the sphincter, anal training is necessary for some people in order for them to accommodate a dildo or penis easily.

Anal training involves regularly inserting a small toy or a finger and as you grow more comfortable and confident, you can slowly and modestly increase the girth by using a bigger toy or adding another finger. The length of time and amount of training required varies from person to person but over time, this process should allow you to be comfortably penetrated during anal sex and able to easily accommodate larger toys. Anal training kits are specifically designed for this purpose and contain a set of plugs or dilators of graduated sizes.

Without a base, without a trace

Whatever toy you use, we strongly recommend that you only use toys that have an appropriate base to save yourself a trip to the emergency room. This is because when the inner anal sphincter closes, it closes upwards and it will literally suck up anything that doesn’t have a wide enough base to keep it anchored in place. For plugs, vibrators or beads this means choosing toys with a wide, flared base or a reasonably sized ring pull handle. We also strongly advise against using vaginal and anal toys interchangeably due to the risk of infection through cross contamination.

Prostate Stimulation

People with penises have the added benefit of exploring prostate massage during anal play. Some men report greatly intensified, full body orgasms from prostate stimulation. While you can access the prostate externally through the perineum, accessing this extremely sensitive pleasure point internally is particularly effective.

The prostate gland is located about 2-3 inches inside on the front wall of the anus and it often feels different to the touch than the surrounding tissue as it has a softer, spongier feel. When touched, it can give you the sensation of needing to pee which is perfectly normal and the build-up of sensation can feel very different to penile stimulation and orgasm.

Once located, you can use a ‘come hither’ or upwards stroking movement with your fingers or use a toy to stimulate the prostate. Toys that are designed for prostate stimulation are usually curved for targeted stimulation and many are “L-shaped” with a base that also stimulates the prostate externally via the perineum.