The prostate gland (or P-spot) is a walnut sized, fleshy feeling bulb of tissue that wraps around the urethra and forms part of a male’s reproductive system. It serves an important purpose; it produces seminal fluid that mixes with sperm and contains muscles that help push the semen out during ejaculation. It’s also often known as the “male G-spot” packed full of thousands of nerve endings which, when stimulated, can be extremely pleasurable and take your sexual enjoyment to incredible new heights.
What’s all the fuss about?
The prostate gland is an untapped source of pleasure for many men. When massaged, it can feel intensely pleasurable and open up a whole new world of sensation and enjoyment. With a little practice, prostate play can even result in its own special type of whole body orgasm, one which can last longer and feel deeper and more intense than orgasms reached from penile stimulation alone.
There’s also evidence that prostate massage can have a positive effect on your health and wellbeing, especially for men with a range of prostate related conditions. Regular prostate milking can have benefits such as enhancing urine flow, reducing inflammation and potentially relieving symptoms of erectile dysfunction, painful ejaculation and an enlarged or inflamed prostate.
How do I find it?
There’s two ways to access the prostate: externally or internally. From the outside, you can reach it by stimulating the softer, fleshier patch of skin towards the back of the perineum (aka the taint or the stretch of skin between the scrotum and anus). You can use a finger to massage that spot in a circular motion or for extra stimulation, use a toy such as a wand or bullet vibrator.
While external massage can feel great, many people find that stimulating the prostate internally is a more direct, effective and enjoyable method, especially if you’re after a more intense sensation or a powerful prostate orgasm. The prostate is located between two to four inches inside the anus and along the rectal wall towards the belly button. It feels different to the surrounding tissue as it has a spongier texture. Engaging in some foreplay first is often helpful as when you’re aroused, the prostate becomes larger due to an increase in blood flow.
A good sign that you’ve found the right spot, apart from your reaction, is that many men initially feel the urge to urinate when their prostate is touched. Using a finger is a great way to start exploring prostate play as a finger is usually just the right length plus it’s small, narrow and gives you greater control.
Lube, lube and more lube
When it comes to internal prostate play and any anal play in general, it’s vital to remember that the anus has no natural lubrication. Without lubrication you get friction and friction isn’t fun…attempting any backdoor play without lubricant is going to be uncomfortable and likely to result in pain and even injury as the lining of the rectum is very delicate and prone to terr without lubrication. You need to apply a liberal amount of lube to the outside of the anus and a finger or any toy before insertion. It’s also a good idea to keep the lube on hand during play just in case you need to apply more. A quality water based anal lube is a great all-rounder for anal and prostate play. Silicone lube can be longer lasting but it isn’t compatible with silicone toys, can be messy and will potentially stain your sheets.
Starting out
Simply using a finger is a great way to start exploring prostate play but care must be taken to avoid injury. Long or sharp fingernails can cause tearing so it’s a good idea to trim them first or wear a latex or nitrile glove. If you’re new to prostate and anal play, it’s a good idea to get yourself aroused through masturbation or foreplay first then slowly insert your finger and once inserted, leave it there for a minute until you’ve adjusted to the sensation and feel relaxed. From there you can start to slowly massage the prostate. Finding the motion that feels best for you may take some trial and error; good starting points include “come hither” and circular motions as well as gentle tapping or simply applying light, steady pressure.
It's important to take notice of what’s happening in your body and if you feel pain or discomfort you should stop immediately. If you start to feel friction, stop and apply more lube. It’s also worth noting that overly vigorous or intense massage has the potential to cause nerve damage to this delicate area so a gentle approach is a safer option. If you have any underlying prostate conditions such as prostate cancer, prostatitis or problematic haemorrhoids or anal fissures, it’s a good idea to talk to your GP or urologist before starting prostate play.
If you have a partner, there's no need to play solo if you don't want to as you can incorporate prostate play into foreplay. Your partner may enjoy exploring a new way of bringing you pleasure but it's important to have a conversation before you start so you're both aware of what you're both comfortable with doing and on the same page. Starting out with any new type of sexual play requires communication, consent and patience and the rewards of greater mutual pleasure and intimacy are well worth taking the time to try something new together.
Fit for purpose
If you’re not keen on the idea of using your finger or if you are ready to take prostate play to the next level, there is a fantastic range of anal and prostate toys on the market. General anal toys can provide plenty of extra stimulation and pleasure, especially vibrating ones as they are very effective at stimulating nerve endings. Prostate toys are typically quite slim, 2-4 inches long with a curve and/or a bulbous tip to precisely target the prostate. Anal and prostate toys are available with vibrating, thrusting and pulsating functions and include all kinds of massagers, plugs, probes and beads. Some prostate toys are designed with an L-shape with a base that sits outside on the perineum to give you the best of both worlds through simultaneous external and internal stimulation.
When choosing a prostate toy, there are a few things to consider, the most important being the base. A wide, flared base will save you a trip to the emergency department as when the inner anal sphincter closes, it pulls upwards and toys without a base to anchor them can easily be pulled up into the rectum. A round or T-shaped base will prevent over insertion and ensure you can easily retrieve your toy after play.
Silicone is the gold standard for plastic adult toys as it is flexible, easy to clean, durable, non-reactive, non-porous and body safe. The only drawback is that it’s not compatible for use with silicone lube. Other materials such as metal or glass are also great options as not only are they compatible with all types of lubricant, they can also offer different sensations and textures. Heavier toys can also bring extra pleasure by creating a sensation of fullness. Like with any type of adult toy, a bit of trial and error may be necessary to find a style that works perfectly for you.
Hygiene
Many people find that uncertainty and fear about hygiene and cleanliness is a big stumbling block to starting prostate play. The good news is that taking some simple steps will go a long way in minimising your chance of making a mess.
As long as you’re healthy and have regular bowel movements, you’re unlikely to encounter any problems if you try to go to the toilet before you play. The location of the prostate is so close to the end of the rectum and anus that people with regular bowel habits will feel like going to the toilet if there is any faecal matter lingering around there. You also have the option of using a douche or enema bulb to flush out the rectum with warm water before you start playing for added piece of mind.
The delicate rectal lining can be easily nicked or torn during play and even tiny tears may bleed and leave you vulnerable to infection. Using plenty of lube, trimming your nails and washing your hands both before and after you use your fingers for prostate play will go greatly help prevent bacterial contamination. Ensuring that you carefully and thoroughly wash your toys with a quality toy cleaner or warm soapy water is also very important for your health and safety.
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